Ah, family…

::Preface::

This post is loooooooong, and is simply a record of the last three or four days. Despite its length, it’s still rather vague, but is mainly a personal journal entry. If you want to save a lot of time/effort, don’t read it. If you want to hear about the recent visit of my kooky cousin Sean, by all means, grab a cup of coffee, and settle in for the long ride.

::End of Preface::

About a week ago now I received notice from ma’ mom that my aunt Jean and cousin Sean would be coming by to visit. Shortly after that, I expected my parents to go into clean-the-house overdrive, but it didn’t really happen until the night before Sean and Jean’s arrival.

A few days before that I–uncharacteristically, I might add–had done the dishes, folded and put away towels in the linen closet, cleaned up the kitchen, cleaned the bathrooms, and even dusted certain parts of the house.

But back to Saturday night, and our attempts to clean out the guest room: No one had bothered going into the guest room in ages. There was no reason to, as it was full o’ storage/junk. But that night we vacuumed, cleaned, dusted, moved stuff into the closet, moved in a nicer mattress/box spring, etc. We made the room fit for.. erm… a guest.

The only problem was that the room still had this awful heavy hide-a-bed couch in it that we had brought down with us from Powell River when we moved here 6 years ago. The couch, in its’ prime, used to be super comfortable. I could lie on the thing for *hours* on end, and never get uncomfortable… but that was 8-10 years ago, and now the couch had fallen into disuse and disrepair.

So we cleaned the couch out as best we could, and made sure that it wasn’t quite as dusty as it used to be, and simply covered it with a blanket. After spraying the room with raid (there were tonnes o’ bugs and what not that had made the couch their home) and airing it out after, we were finished.

The next day, I woke up around noon, and spent most of my time trying to figure out what to do ’til Sean and Jean showed up. I was told they’d probably arrive between 2 and 3 PM, but that I should also listen for them beforehand, just in case.

Ultimately, I ended up playing Mass Effect to kill time until about 2:30, when I headed upstairs to grab a bite to eat, and make sure I hadn’t been sitting playing a video game while they sat in the car outside.

After another hour of waiting (and watching Seinfeld and M*A*S*H) they finally arrived, and I took the opportunity to sort of show them around a little, and to catch up with them.

After that, Sean and I spent a few hours playing NHL 2K9 before dinner. Eventually, my dad made burgers for everyone (they were awesome, as usual) and we all just kind of sat around talking for a few hours.

Sean ended up setting up his computer to find something to do, so I went and got my laptop, and we ended up playing Age of Empires II: The Conquerors for a few hours until everyone else wanted to go to bed. After that, Sean and I watched a bit of TV, until I too wanted to sleep. I don’t know what he did the rest of the night/morning.

I awoke to the cool breeze wafting in my window. I could feel it flowing down the wall, over my head, down to my toes, and back up the wall and out the other window. It was chilly, but nice. A few moments later, the intercom started beeping at me, and my dad told me breakfast was just about ready. That meant one thing, and one thing only: Bacon.

I jumped out of bed, threw on some clothes, darted out the door, knocked on Sean’s door, told him breakfast was nearly ready, and hopped up the stairs. My dad then asked me how Sean wanted his eggs. This led me to pop back down the stairs, ask Sean how he liked his eggs, and receive a very groggy “over hard.”

I then raced back up the stairs, told my dad he liked them over hard…maybe, and then sat down at the table. A few seconds later Sean appeared, wide awake. It was kind of weird.

A few short moments later, we (my mom, dad, aunt, cousin, and myself) all feasted at great length upon an expertly cooked breakfast.

Now unfortunately, Monday entailed some work on everyone’s part. My father wished to capitalize on Sean’s presence by conscripting him into helping move the aforementioned couch of horrors out of the house, into the van, and into the dump.

We all pitched in–by which I mean my aunt Jean went out and had a cigarette, and I just kind of poked fun at everyone who was trying to move it–and in the end, we got it in our van, although we had to tie a rope across the back doors to keep it closed.

My mom and dad drove in the van to the dump, while Sean, Jean, and myself took Jean’s car to follow them as my dad needed Sean’s help to unload the couch, and me and Sean had some errands to run in town.

After we left the dump, me and Sean headed to the mall to do some shopping. We stopped by Shopper’s Drug Mart for a few refreshments and a birthday card for my mom (her birthday was the next day!), and proceeded to wander through the rest of the mall.

After Sean bought some CDs at The Source by Circuit City and I grabbed a booster pack at The Lion’s Den, we stopped by the Upstairs Downstairs Shoppe to buy my mom a birthday gift. (Or four. Or five.)

After much debating over what to get, we decided on some candles that looked like stones, a stained glass ship that held a candle, a squirrel wind chime… thing, and a base for the aforementioned candles.

We had them wrapped, and placed in a box, and then Sean suggested we get a flower for the top of the box, much like a ribbon or other such gift accoutrements. We then headed back to the car, and went back home to give her the presents. (Albeit a tad early.)

As far as dinner was concerned, our original plan was to have steak, barbequed to perfection in the hot summer evening. Instead, it was raining, so we all went out to a Chinese buffet, and ate a lot of various dishes.

After that, Sean and I played more Age o’ Empires, and then he drove me in to work, where I spent the following 5 hours doing various paperwork for the store–most of it to do with receiving new stock.

Once I was done e’erything at work, Sean and Jean came to pick me up, and they took me home, where we all sat and chatted for a few hours until Jean went to bed, and Sean and I went downstairs.

We watched the latter half of Transformers, on one of the movie channels, and then went our separate ways, to sleep.

Tuesday morning was a lot like Monday morning. There was bacon, and the bacon was good. This time Sean turned his meal into a sandwich, and we ran out of Five Alive.

The first order of business for the day was..nothing, really. For the most part, we all sat around chatting for a few hours. Later my mom and dad took my aunt in to see where I worked. Sean and I once again followed in his mom’s car, and after a quick bit of shopping, our parents all headed home.

I had some errands to run, so Sean drove me to the post office to sort a mail issue out. After that, Sean remembered he had to stop by an ICBC branch to pay off a speeding ticket he had been written in Golden, BC.

I told him where it was–in the Trail Bay Centre, where we had gone on a shopping spree the day before–and after a brief tour of the parking lot, we found a space near it, and went inside.

After speaking with a friendly woman who worked there, Sean realized that ICBC had made a mistake, and were still charging him for insurance on a vehicle that had been stolen and them impounded. The Nanaimo branch ICBC he had dealt with had promised to cancel the insurance on said vehicle, but had failed to do so.

ICBC now said that he owed $635 in payments, and that he had “faulted” on said payments, meaning he would be unable to get a car insured for 2 years, and even when he did so, his premiums would be outrageous.

After receiving information about how he could contact ICBC’s main offices–they were unable to do anything at our branch–we headed to the mall’s pay phones, which are conveniently located near the BCLC booth.

Sean had me redeem the winnings from a few Scratch & Wins, and purchase more, redeem, purchase, redeem, and so on until he had won over 10-15 tickets, and was up $14. (All the while on the phone with ICBC!)

After getting off of the phone and redeeming more tickets, Sean scratched a few more until he had lost it all again. I tried my luck at one of the deluxe $10 tickets, a Monopoly one, but I didn’t win anything.

After that we headed back to the car, and back to the house. A little while later I began installing Windows XP on my aunt Jean’s new (to her) computer that she had gotten from her brother (my uncle), Frank.

After installing all the updates, and replacing the Norton 2003 Trial with AVG, we headed out to the Grasshopper Pub in Pender Harbour, where things would take a turn…for the weird.

First of all, on the way to the pub we stopped by my Mom’s friend Ada’s house to pick Ada up. When we made it to the pub, Sean met his friend Katie there, whom he had known in Powell River.

We all sat together, and then moved, and than sat together again. Sean ordered himself a pitcher of Budweiser, and it all went kind of downhill.

Sean had invited Katie, and had planned on meeting her there, so they talked for quite a bit, catching up and what not. My mom, Ada, and my aunt Jean were having an in depth discussion about…well, I don’t know what actually.

My dad was playing the Pacific Hold ‘Em province-wide electronic poker game, as well as Keno. I was talking mostly to Sean, Katie, and my dad, all about various subjects.

Eventually our food came, and for a little while our tables went quiet. But once the food had disappeared, we all began conversing once more.

Sean, being Sean, had found out that Katie was in a relationship, and immediately went and played pool with a woman named Michelle. Michelle was … well I’m not going to use that kind of language on ma’ blog, but people seemed to consider her quite promiscuous.

After Michelle beat Sean at pool once, and Sean had beaten her once, he ended up playing a game with a woman named Dana. Katie remained at the table with Ada and ma’ family, occasionally leaving to answer her phone.

After a while, Katie realized that she had to work in 7 hours and 45 minutes and decided she best go home to bed. She said bye to Sean, to which he replied: “I don’t have to walk you out to the car door, do I?”

After Katie told Sean that no, he didn’t have to do that, he said something along the lines of: “Good, ’cause I don’t want to.” and then went back to play pool with Michelle again.

It was around this time that Michelle grew tired of Sean, and started to screw with him. She led two other guys out onto the deck with her, Sean followed shortly after, and apparently she burned him with her cigarette…or something.

After that, Sean seemed to have two options left: A) Hit on the waitress who was working, and seemed extremely busy. Or B) Go back and see Dana and her friend.

It was around this time that Sean bought a shot of Tequila for himself and Dana. He later mentioned that it was a bad idea.

Sean then took perrogative and invited Dana and her friend Shannon over to our table, to meet his family I suppose.

Now let’s just say the whole night got bad after that. The man showed no shame if he felt any, and he was hitting on Dana like there was no tomorrow. He was also very drunk.

He eventually … licked Dana’s hair, and tried to guess the shampoo. He stole her ring, but eventually gave it back… (It was a ring that she received for working for 5 straight years at the local RBC branch.)

There are other things that happened, most of which I don’t care to remember. Suffice it to say, they were all drunk, and no matter how many times my dad and his mom tried to tell him it was time to go, he wouldn’t listen. Instead he made puppy eyes at Dana, and howled like a coyote. Repeatedly.

After a while, my parents, Ada, and Jean all went out and got into the van, leaving me to coerce Sean out of the pub. After Dana and Shannon had shaken my hand around 4 or 5 times, and given me a few hugs, Sean was finally heading towards the door.

After some mutual… well, groping between Sean and Dana, she walked him to our van. I said goodbye once more to Shannon on my way out the door, and got Sean down the stairs and to the van safely. He then started making out with Dana, before he /finally/ got in the car.

Dana and Shannon had exchanged phone numbers with Sean, and when we were driving away from the pub, he was trying desperately to remember their names.

Due to the excessive amounts of beer, Tequila, and Jack Daniels Sean had imbibed, he really had to pee on the way home. He made some remark about how now-a-days a phone is as, if not more, important than a condom. We pulled over off the highway so Sean could relieve himself, and he did so… while yelling “woo-hoo!” or something similar.

After getting back in the van Sean, no longer having to concentrate on not peeing his pants, started to hit on Ada. A lot. Like a /lot/.

We eventually made it to Ada’s, let her out of the van, and tried to keep Sean in it. As we drove away, he asked if she was married. My mom told him she had a partner named Rob, and all Sean cared was that she wasn’t married.

Sean then reassured my mom that he would never screw her friend in our house. I’m sure that helped her sleep that night.

Once we got home, I decided that since I had to get up in around 7ish hours, I should go to bed. Sean stayed upstairs and talked to his mom and my parents.

The next morning (which was this morning, actually.) I awoke, got ready for work and headed out. By the time I get home he will be gone again, but it was sure nice seeing him.

I hope we’ll do this again when he gets back from Afghanistan between February and May 2010.

Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

July 8, 2009 · Filed Under BlackBerry, Journal, Work

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